Public Display
by Chloe Winchester
Summary: Steve and Tony's relationship becomes too public too quickly for Steve's liking after a mishap following a battle. Then again, being old-fashioned can make you feel that way. Emotionally!Hurt/ConfusedSteve Supportive!Comforitng Tony Superhusbands/Stony
1. Chapter 1

**Public Display**

Done. All done. The bad guys were dead and fallen, citizens saved once again by the Avengers, cue the confetti and adoring fans, probably a parade and a lot of press contact that Tony Stark didn't want any part of. He stood in the middle of the rubble and settling dust, catching his breath, the crowd around them either cheering or pushing themselves off the ground and helping their loved ones up as EMTs stormed the area for the wounded. Bruce had gone off to collect himself somewhere, Natasha and Clint looking each other over, trying not to be too obvious in their anxiety to be sure the other was okay. He turned looking for Steve, knowing he'd have that simple smile on his face with that stupid mask over his eyes like always. Their eyes -well, his weird light things and his eyes anyway- would meet and Steve would quickly look away, blushing just a little because he was still too afraid for anyone around them to know.

This time, though...

Their eyes did meet, but Steve was getting a lot closer than he would usually allow, finding the small button beneath his jawline that pulled back his mask, taking the hard metal of his waist in his hand, moving too quickly and acting on whim. Before Tony could do anything, pull away, warn him, _anything_, Steve had tilted his chin and placed the softest, most passionate and innocent kiss on his lips that had ever graced them before.

Granted, he had kissed Steve many times before, but there was something different about this. About right now.

He kissed back without hesitation, gripping his shoulder to steady himself, lost to the rest of the world and content to stay that way.

Steve jerked away abruptly, parting their lips with a quiet smack. He looked around, at all of the people that had stopped to stare, paling to a ghostly color, tinged green. The super-soldier, Captain America, was absolutely terrified.

"Steve?"

What did he have to be afraid of? Yeah, relationship publicity wasn't the best in the world but what does this enormous -gorgeous- guy have to be afraid of? It's not like people will-

Oh.

_Oh._

"Steve," he said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He pulled away, tearing his eyes away from the onlookers to the pavement, confused and still... "Steve, it's alright, they-"

"I have to go."

He stalked away, waiting until he was almost out of sight before he started running, bolting in the opposite direction, mask already off, shield left behind because _someone_ would get it and take it with them, surely.

_Tony will. Tony'll take it with him, because Tony does that kind of stuff for you. Tony..._

He'd kissed another man in public. In front of all of those people, cameras. He saw some of their faces. Some indifferent, some surprised, some smiling...some scowling with disgust. Shame crept inside his mind and his heart, Biblical verses bombarding his memories and screaming at him he was wrong. Those people's faces told him he was wrong.

He leaned his head back against the wall behind him, the alley giving him enough cover not to be noticed by passerby, so torn, so confused at what his heart was making him feel.

The moment made him do it. Being so happy, that triumph of winning and the adrenaline all contributing to the urge to just, just _kiss_ him because he wanted to. Because he could and it would release some of that energy. He was happy, and kissing Tony just made him all the more happy. It was a logical step!

He still felt so wrong. He thought of his father, of his friends, all of those people that must be so disappointed in him, so disgusted and horrified by what he was doing.

And on the other hand there was Tony.

The snarky, witty asshole that could be a complete and total jerk eighty-five percent of the time. The same man he caught in his arms while he was on the verge of tears and held him with no questions asked. To this day he never knew why. That other fifteen percent, alone, or sometimes not so alone, he could be sweet, caring, compassionate and brave. He'd seen that bravery firsthand. Every time Tony came into the room his heart sped, his stomach turned over and he fought the smile that always wanted to spring to his cheeks. It scared him, feeling this way. He fought himself at every turn and finally agreed that yes, in private, he would allow himself to be in love with Tony.

He wasn't ready to be this public. Wasn't ready for the publicity and the chaos that would surely ensue. He thought the press was bad before but this...this would be global in seconds, milliseconds even, which is something he still didn't have a grasp on. He wasn't ready for this.

He closed his eyes, the screaming in his head, the fighting making his temples throb. He slid to the ground, face in his knees. Tearing himself apart from the inside out.

* * *

"I am confused," Thor admitted, breaking the awkward silence -and stares from the highly rude Natasha and Clint- that had fallen over the team in the middle of this crowd, the police still gathering evidence around them and shooing the citizens back to their lives. "I was certain Master Stark and the Captain of the America were merely good friends."

"Trust me, I did too," Widow admitted, looking at Tony. "I wonder if Ms. Potts does."

"Either way, it's none of your business, is it?" Tony said curtly.

"Kind of came out of nowhere," Clint added.

"Do I ask about your personal life, Robin Hood?" He snapped, looking between the two. Thor frowned.

"Hey," Bruce said, jogging over to them. He paused, looking around at everyone. "I missed something, didn't I?"

Tony ignored the question, plucking Steve's shield from the ground. "Jarvis, let's go home."

"Of course, sir."

He kicked off the destroyed concrete into the air, away from their stupid questions and stupid faces. "Flying music, please."

AC/DC blared in his ears, drowning out the thoughts he'd have plenty of time to dwell about at home while he waited for Steve to get his spangled ass back there.

* * *

Tony had been staring at the bottle for a good forty minutes, tracing the lines on the shield absently, arguing as to whether he should simply get rid of the entire thing all together, or just have one.

_C'mon, Tony, let's be realistic. As if you could just have one._

He shook his head, sighing. "Twenty minutes," he said to himself. "Twenty minutes and I'm not waiting anymore. I'll go look for him myself."

"Look for who?"

He whipped around, relief settling over him, his shoulders relaxing, a long exhale leaving his lungs. "You," he said simply. "I was starting to worry."

Steve came closer, his uniform discarded for a white T-shirt and sweats. "Did I mess anything up? What I did today, I mean."

"Saving an entire city from being destroyed by a psychopath? What's wrong with that?" He teased. Steve didn't smile. He looked at the floor, speaking softly.

"No...the...the other thing." He glanced at him, revealing a vulnerability Tony didn't see often. No one saw it often. Soldiers are meant to be strong and protect, not look like lost puppies that fear they've done something to upset you.

"Let's see," he began, peering outside. "Hm, sky's still in tact...the world isn't in a frenzy. The only aliens we know are either locked up or snoring downstairs, so there's no fear of that. My company's stock went up, the world didn't collapse underneath us." He smiled gently, walking toward him and handing him a drink. "One little kiss won't end the world, babe."

Steve took the drink out of courtesy but left it untouched. "Was it on the news?" He whispered.

"Yep. Fox, CNN, local, Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, every blog and Facebook status all over the world had something to say about it," he said simply, watching his face. Steve winced, setting the glass on the counter beside him. "Steve," he said gently, grasping his arm and ducking to meet his eyes. "It's not like it was back then. People don't get into trouble for this kind of thing anymore."

"No, but people think they still should," he said firmly. "Senator Rick Santorum said-"

"Oh, honey, he's full of more ungodly crap than Hell's sewage system," he scoffed. "Look at me," he lifted his chin. "I promise you, there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. If people don't like what you and I have, they can get the hell over it. I like you. I want to be with you. I'll find a way to write it in the sky if I want to, but I'm not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"I didn't want everyone to know," he said, so desperate and...and hurt. "I didn't want them to think we were bad people or-"

"Damn it, Steve, _listen to me_," he demanded. "This," he took his hand, "is okay. It's okay, now, you don't have to hide-"

"It goes against what I was raised to believe!" He spat, pulling away from him. "Everything my parents, my preacher, everyone around me said told me this, " he roughly grabbed his wrist, brandishing it in front of his face, "was _wrong_. I have my faith, my _religion_, Tony. Am I...I just supposed to abandon that, abandon a God that keeps me going and allows me to do the things that I do for someone I lo-" He swallowed, clearing his throat. "For someone I really care about?"

Tony nodded, lips pursed. "Baptist?"

"Catholic," he corrected.

"Alright, I see your Catholicism and I raise you a Jesus," he smirked. "Jarvis, look up everything Jesus said about homosexuality."

There was a beep before, "there are no results, Mr. Stark."

Tony waited, looking at Steve as he stood there with his eyes shut, head down.

"So, if the guy that changed all the rules and made better ones doesn't think it's a big deal, then what's the big deal?" He offered quietly.

Steve finally looked up, stagnant tears in his eyes. "What if...what if my dad isn't proud of me anymore?"

That's what did it, the blow that he may never recover from. "Come here." He wrapped his arms around him, holding him, smoothing his hair. "Shh...shh...You can't think like that, okay? He'd be crazy not to be. You save so many lives every day doing what you do."

"But, but now I'm-"

"Wanting to be with me and being gay are two totally different things, sweetheart," he assured, cradling his face. "Look, let me handle the press. What we do together, who we are to each other is none of their business. Whatever you want to tell them, I'll tell them. If you don't want me to tell them anything I can do that too. It's whatever you want. As long as you're with me I don't really give a damn either way."

"Whatever I want?" Steve whispered. Tony nodded, hugging him again simply because the look on his face was too painful.

"Whatever you want."

"I..." He swallowed, trying to find strength to put in his voice. "I just want you to hold me."

"Done," he said immediately. "But let's go upstairs first."

"To, um, to your bedroom?" He asked, cheeks flushed. Tony smiled.

"Don't worry, I'm not out to steal your virtue. Completely innocent sleepover. Scout's honor," he smirked. Steve grinned, the tears on his face drying slowly.

"I get it, I understand that one. That was a joke, right?" Tony laughed, shaking his head.

"Come on, old man."

Steve looked around the bedroom, the dim glow from the reactor illuminating it enough to let him see.

"Sorry about the night light," Tony said breezily, knowing Steve saw right through the insecurity. He smiled shyly, sitting on the bed, adorably uncomfortable and unsure precisely what he should do with his hands. He looked up at him, offering an offensively cute half-smile.

"I like it," he whispered, tracing it through his shirt. "I spent seventy years in the dark. I don't think light'll bother me again." Tony frowned, touching his cheek.

"I can kiss you right now, right?" He said. Steve's smile grew.

"Absolutely."

He pressed their mouths together, suckling his lower lip, trying not to smirk when Steve gasped and kissed deeper, cradling Tony's face while his fingers were tangled in the captain's hair. His free hand slipped down his chest, feeling the hard muscles surrounded by soft, warm skin beneath the straining shirt. Hunger to feel him burned in his stomach, sending his hand under the shirt to feel just how soft he knew he was.

"Tony," Steve protested, receding into himself and pulling away, the blush back.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, shaking his head and retracting his hand. "I get carried away." He sat beside him, swinging his legs around so he was laying down. "Come here, I'll hold you."

Steve turned, curling against him, his head on his chest beside the reactor, shutting his eyes.

"You sure this thing doesn't bother you?" Tony whispered. Steve smiled, placing his hand over it.

"It's keeping you alive and keeping a lot of really bad memories away by doing so. How could I not like it?" He mumbled, half asleep. Tony sighed.

"Good point." He kissed the top of his head. "No nightmares, okay?"

"I'll try," he said truthfully, looking up at him again. "As long as you will too."

"Promise."

They laid in silence for a moment, Tony gently rubbing Steve's back, hand over his, comforting him as best as he could.

"Hey, Tony?" Steve muttered.

"Mm?"

"Tomorrow, can you show me how to use video games?"

Tony grinned, chuckling softly. "It's your day off, babe." Steve smiled.

"Swell."

They drifted off to sleep, the hum of the reactor lulling Steve to slumber while Tony simply listened to him breathe.

Everything else could wait.

Tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

**Public Display**

Steve didn't want to move. He knew darn good and well he needed to get his butt up to go work out and not laze around. But...

He looked up at Tony, who was sleeping soundly, arms still firmly wrapped around him. He was warm, comfortable, the quiet hum of the reactor soothing, urging his mind that was still half asleep to go back to the peaceful slumber where he didn't have to worry about kissing Tony in front of a large group of people.

He sighed, the memory suddenly coming back, their conversation last night, all of those horrible feelings coming right back.

"Quit it," Tony mumbled suddenly, causing him to jump a little.

"What?"

"Stop worrying about yesterday and get back to sleep," he said shortly. "You're exhausted."

"But I need to-"

"You _need_ to get some sleep. Or at least rest."

"Says the man who just recently spent thirty-six straight hours in the lab last week," he retorted.

Tony shrugged. "It was a rough day and I was nearing a break-through," he offered. "Now go back to sleep. Your adoring fans can wait."

"Or not so adoring," he added.

_I could've disappointed them. What if there's people out there that...that don't believe in me anymore?_

"Then I guess those assholes can get the hell over it, can't they?" Tony sighed, as if reading his mind, kissing the top of his head. "Rest."

Steve shut his eyes again, hand still over the reactor. He drowsily leaned up, pressing a lazy kiss to his cheek. "Thanks, Tony."

* * *

Tony made sure Steve had no reason to be out in public for the next few days, telling Pepper to stop intercepting the reporters from him so he could handle the situation himself.

"Tony, I don't think that's a good idea," she sighed, arms folded.

"And I don't think having my ex-girlfriend handle my current relationship is a very good idea," he retorted, sunglasses in place. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to tell the circus to get off my lawn."

He stepped out into the street, constant flashing bulbs and a barrage of voices nailing him like a strong gust of wind. A chorus of "MR. STARK! MR. STARK!" Bombarded him for one, annoying him for another.

"Alright, alright," he spat, holding up his hands to silence them. "I'm gonna keep my statement short and concise. Pay attention, I won't be repeating myself: It's none of anyone's business, so please get the hell off my property. Coincidentally I own the whole street, so I'd skedaddle. Right now. Don't make me get the suit."

He turned and went back inside without another word, shaking his head and taking off his suit jacket.

"Tony, what was that?" Steve asked, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

"Nothing," he said. "Company stuff Pepper didn't have time to deal with. No worries," he assured, smiling at him. The captain frowned, not believing him for a single second.

"Tony-"

"So, video games, right?" He said, ignoring him, keeping that smirk in place. "They're set up in the living room, let's go."

"Tony," he caught his arm, stopping him. Tony sighed.

"It's taken care of, 'kay babe?" He said softly, smiling at him to reassure him. Steve sighed, relaxing just a little. "Now c'mon. We'll play Black Ops that should be familiar for you."

* * *

"God damn it, how are you doing that?" Tony barked. Steve chuckled.

"I don't know! I'm just hitting buttons," he giggled. Tony shook his head, his frustration melting at the sound.

"You would be a button masher," he spat, glancing at him.

"I don't know what that means, but I'm winning," he said gleefully. Tony smiled, losing for the tenth round in a row, the red letters dripping pixelated blood blaring "YOU LOSE" across the screen. "So you want to lose another round or show me something else?" He challenged. Tony rolled his eyes, moving over to him at the other end of the couch, the controller forgotten on the table.

"We could always play something you're already really good at," he offered slyly, incredibly close to him. Steve's own smile was shy, his dimples deep in his cheeks.

"And what's that?"

Tony tilted his head, pressing their lips together, taking Steve's lower lip into his mouth. Steve's breath hitched, a quiet, choked sigh gasping from his lips. Business as usual. Tony fights a smile, because even after these months and months of dating, three of them since they started kissing like this and Steve still wasn't used to it. Still blushed when Tony asked him to dinner -in a completely rented out restaurant that Stark Industries either had a lot of stock in or owned entirely of course- or brought him flowers or something, which had happened a few times and he ended up being redder than the roses and Tony had to stop himself from giggling like a school-girl every time it happened. Steve wasn't used to this, being in a relationship. However his ability to kiss like this was evidence to the contrary.

It was deep, slow, it always was with him. Tony heard his own gasp when Steve eased his lips open with his tongue, tangling with his and deepening their kiss, nearly causing the genius to faint.

"Now where the hell did you learn how to do that?" Tony breathed. Steve frowned.

"What?"

"How to kiss like that," he said, still winded. Steve shrugged.

"Not like I've had much practice or anything," he said softly. For some reason, this made everything so much better. He surged forward, crushing their mouths together again, allowing Steve's lips to ravage his own. He held onto his arm, needing something to ground his mind and keep him assured that he wouldn't try to push too much and make him uncomfortable.

Steve's mind was screaming again, fighting, tearing at him.

_You're kissing another man, what is wrong with you?_

_God, he feels so good, tastes so wonderful._

_Stop it. Stop now. This is shameful, this is disgusting._

_But...but Tony. I want to be with Tony. I care about Tony._

_You're disgusting. Filthy._

_He's beautiful._

_Ungodly._

_He cares about me._

_You're going to hell._

"Steve?" It took him a moment to realize he'd stopped kissing him. "Steve, honey?"

"Sorry," he whispered. "Sorry just..." He smiled at him, trying to shrug it off. "I'm alright. I just, uh..."

Tony smiled, understanding. "You want to try Fast and the Furious now?"

"What's that?" Steve asked, cocking his head. Tony grinned again, laughing.

"You'll see, sweetheart."

* * *

_I was just getting some milk_, he thought miserably, staring, gaping really, at the amount of people in front of him, all with cameras and microphones that were practically being shoved down his throat.

"How long have you and Mr. Stark been in a relationship?"

"Will the two of you being involved affect the Avengers at all?"

"Captain, Captain, over here!"

"Does this have anything to do with President Obama's earlier statement this month?"

"Steve! Right here!"

"What are your stances on gay marriage?"

"C'mon, Steve, gay, straight, not sure, what?"

He stood there, wincing against the harsh light, the loud noises and yelling bringing back flashes of orders being bellowed before the onslaught of gunfire started. Then death, then bombs, then more death, then blood, then running, then more shooting...

"Steve, Steve!"

"Captain, right here!"

He felt like screaming, like running, like it was the only thing he could possibly do to save himself from this. The war in his mind wasn't helping, his temples throbbing from the battle, the bright lights not helping, the yelling making everything worse. He was half tempted to just bombard through them and run as fast as he could to get home, to Tony, to the one thing in his life that made sense.

"That's enough!" A voice barked. A hand appeared on his shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze as the group quieted. "As I said Monday, Mr. Rogers relationship with myself is really none of your business and you shouldn't approach me again. That being said, I thought that encompassed staying away from him as well, but you guys just jump at loopholes, don't you? This will in no way affect the team, nor will it hinder our abilities in the battlefield at any given time. And that's all you need to know. Right, Steve?" He looked at him, eyes saying something more.

_If there's anything you want to say, go ahead and do it now._

He nodded, unable to speak, mouth too dry, throat too swollen, the gallon of milk busted in his hand from the pressure he'd put on it, leaking sloppily onto the concrete. "Thank you," he managed.

"Well, not all was won. We lost some milk," he said, nodding to it. "Pulverized in its pasteurized prime."

"Nice alliteration," he muttered. Tony smiled.

"I might have been working on it for a minute," he admitted. "Are you alright?"

Steve looked at the ground, chewing his lip before looking at him through his lashes. "Not here," he said softly. Tony nodded.

"Let's go home, super dork," he teased, trying to make him smile. It didn't work this time. "Sorry."

"No, it...let's just go."

* * *

Bruce looked up from the sandwich he was making, watching Steve and Tony as they came inside, knowing things hadn't gone well. He watched his friend continue toward the elevator down the hall, meeting Tony's eyes, finding himself correct in his assumption when he did. He exhaled heavily, shaking his head. He glanced at the news playing on the screen in front of him, rolling his eyes.

"Give the poor guy some peace," he whispered, watching Anderson Cooper mouth off to some Republican senator that thought Captain America was now "immoral for society." He shook his head again, blood pressure rising slightly, shutting off the T.V. for safety's sake.

Tony stepped into the elevator with Steve, neither speaking; they hadn't since they left the front of the grocery store.

The captain stared at the floor, jaw set, eyes and expression blank, never looking at Tony or making a move to get close to him.

He finally faced him when they were in his bedroom, wringing his hands.

"Steve," he said, taking a step toward him, something settling in his chest, heavy and thick, something that blocked his airways and sunk his stomach all at the same time. "Look, if you want to stop this. If...if you don't want to be with me anymore, that's fine. It's alright, just hurry up and get it over with. I'm not exactly the picture of patience."

"What?" The soldier blanched, looking up at him. "Wha-? Why would I not want to be with you anymore?"

"Because of the circus that's going on outside? Because I'm a pompous jackass that nobody likes? Bec-"

"Hey," he said firmly, stopping him, brows knitted. "You think I wouldn't stick it out with you because of the reporters? And stop acting like you're not a good person. You and I both know that's a lie so quit."

"Then what's wrong?" He said, breezing over the comment. He shrugged, scratching his neck, obviously uncomfortable.

"I just...I've always been someone that people could believe in, you know? Something that gave people hope. I want to be that. And people are losing faith in me, in what I do for them because I'm with you," the insecurity and fear suddenly sparked into anger. "What does that have to do with me saving the city? HOW DOES ME BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU HAVE _ANYTHING_ TO DO WITH MY ABILITY TO PROTECT AND SERVE? WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?" Tony's brows rose, jumping at the sudden outburst, watching Steve to see when the anger passed. He stood there, breathing heavily, fists clenched, jaw tight. "I flew into the ocean to save them. I lost my family, my best friend, my world for them. I came back fighting and willing to do it all over again and...and it's still not enough? That's not fair...it's not fair."

Steve suddenly fell to his knees, shoulders shaking, hand over his eyes, wilted, tired. So tired.

And Tony dropped right in front of him without hesitation, gently taking his hand away and cradling his cheek. "Steve, baby," he whispered, watching each tear fall from his precious and broken eyes. "I know that there are some people that feel that way about us. But think about it for a second. All of those men and women in the military that are still uncomfortable even when Don't Ask Don't Tell has been repealed-"

"It has?" Steve croaked, brightening a little. Tony grinned, nodding.

"Think about all of them seeing you, a super-soldier, literally the face of America, and you're dating me. Think about all of those kids too scared to say anything, or get bullied every day for being who they are and they get to turn on their T.V.s and see you fighting away, being the biggest badass in the country. How do you think you make them feel?" He caught a tear on his thumb, brushing it away as he smiled at him. "They've gotta be so relieved, so happy that someone everyone loves is just like them, someone that can accomplish anything. Baby, you don't have a damn thing to be afraid of when it comes to giving people hope. You're giving a whole mess of people the wonderful notion that maybe being gay isn't a bad thing. That you're still the same person. You're giving them that spark to be brave. You're still a hero, Steve."

There was a beat where they simply looked at each other, in awe of the person across from them. Tony shut his eyes when Steve engulfed him, crying again, something he would only ever do in front of him. "Shh, shh, it's alright. Let it out, it's okay. Just...please, quit fighting yourself on this. You're perfect. They gave you patriotic steroids that put you in that definition." Steve managed a smile before breaking down again.

They stayed that way for awhile, even after Tony could feel the carpet trying to embed itself in his skin and Steve's weight was threatening to crush his smaller frame he stayed put. If this is what he needed he wasn't about to move. Not until he was good and ready.

"Can I ask you about something?" He said. Steve sat up, relieving him.

"Anything," he sniffed.

"Did you mean to say you loved me, or did that just slip?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Public Display**

The silence that fell was deafening but said nothing. Steve looked at him, his mind going a million miles a minute, remembering when he'd said it and trying to figure out whether Tony wanted him to say it or not. Or whether he was about to scare him off or not.

"I, I uh, I didn't mean to...unless you wanted- um..." He wiped a hand over his face, cursing himself for being so socially inept. "If you wanted me to say it, then I said it, if it's too soon, or if it makes you uncomfortable, or I'm an idiot and men don't say that to each other nowadays or-"

"Steve," Tony said gently, putting him out of his misery. "Being from a different time doesn't make you an idiot. By the way, I'm taking you to Radio Shack tomorrow to help with some of that, men _do _say that to each other, it doesn't make me uncomfortable and I'm glad you said it." He kissed him softly, stroking his cheek.

"So it's okay? Saying I love you is okay?" He breathed, chewing his lip nervously. Tony kissed him again.

"Yeah, it's okay."

"Then...why haven't yous said it back?" He mumbled. Tony swallowed, frowning. Another lapse of silence fell, one worse than the one a few minutes ago. This one said everything, said a lot. Steve wilted, his heart clenching, trying to meet Tony's eyes and failing. "Tony?"

"We, uh, we were gonna watch _The Godfather_ weren't we?" He said, standing quickly. "I'll meet you downstairs."

Steve watched him go and bowed his head. "Wait." He stood quickly, rushing out the door, scrambling after him. "Tony, wait!" He spat, skidding to a halt at the top of the stairs.

The genius stopped, his heart thudding, mouth dry.

"After everything I've been putting myself through, all that talk about nothing being wrong with me, sticking up for me in front of the press, telling me that all of this was okay, that there was nothing wrong with me and you can't say you love me? We've been through so much and...and it still isn't enough?"

He stayed silent, unable to look at him, knowing how much pain would be in his eyes. He didn't want to hurt looking into them.

_He's already confused, upset and lost, and you're running away from him?_

"Tony, what do I have to do? What do I have to _prove_ to get you to care about me?" Still silent. "What's wrong with me, then? Not smart enough? Not rich enough? Not good-looking enough, what?"

_TALK TO HIM, DAMN IT!_

More silence. More awful silence that he didn't mean to happen, silence that spoke lies to someone so insecure and afraid.

"Fine," Steve hissed, shaking his head. "That's fine. I spend months fighting myself, fighting everything I knew and believed in just to be with you because I care about you and this ruins it. I told you to tell me if there was something wrong with me saying it-" He stopped, the anger dying away to pain. "I don't want to watch the movie. I'll be in my room. Alone. And I'd like it to stay that way."

He turned, stalking away with Tony still facing away from him.

He stood, rooted to the spot a tear working its way down his cheek that was wiped away quickly, loathing himself.

_Go get him. Go tell him why you can't say it. Go hold him and tell him he's perfect and beautiful and there's something wrong with _**you**_not him. He's wonderful. Go tell him so. Stop all of this right now. Go get him._

He didn't.

Of course he didn't.

He went down to the lab and worked.

And worked.

And worked for days. He knew it was days because Jarvis constantly reminded him that it had been more than 24 hours. He needed to sleep, needed to eat, needed to stop his mind from whirring. He'd learned too much about too much, turned countless people away and even ignored Bruce. Until finally...

"Sorry," he said quietly, stepping inside and pressing a few buttons on the door when he did so. "Sorry, Jarvis."

"No harm done," the computer said, almost sounding exasperated. If it weren't a machine.

"Tony," Bruce began, knowing he wouldn't turn to face him. "What happened?"

No answer, just fiddling away with the holograms in front of him, fighting the urge to turn his music back up and ignore him completely.

"Ya know, the funny thing is Steve hasn't hardly come out of his room either. Not unless he's demolishing the gym. Won't talk to anyone or about anything. Fury talked to him about some stuff going on, and what's been going on with you two in the news..." He paused, looking at his face to see if anything changed. Nothing did, of course.

"Tony, did you and Steve break up?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. Don't know." He cleared his throat, finding it raspy and harsh from lack of use.

"You need to talk to him. He's a mess. You're a mess, look at you. Please, just...just talk to him."

"Busy."

"Really?" He said, peeking around his shoulder to see the computer screen. "Because I'm pretty sure quantum physics was something you covered at the age of nine. What are you running from?"

"Nothing." He spat. "Now leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me what's going on or go talk to Steve. One or the other, Tony." Bruce said, crossing his arms, looking at him like a parent scolding their child. He waited, staring at his back. "Tony."

"What?" He said, spinning around to finally look at him. "I screwed up. I hurt him, okay? But talking to him...he won't want to listen to me. Not after what happened so I see no point I talking to him now."

"The leaders of this team are both M.I.A. right now because they won't talk to each other. What happens if we need to get out there and you two are still at odds like this, huh? You gonna ignore each other out there too, 'cause that could get us all killed. Now stop acting like a child and go talk to him for Christ's sake!" He took a breath, slowly calming himself down. "Please. For him at least. He's wandering around like a lost puppy out there."

"I'll think about it," he said, turning away again. Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Don't let your pride screw this up, Tony. You guys need each other. Whether you want to admit it or not," he said, stepping out and heading back up the stairs.

Tony sighed, listening to the silence that followed, wondering if it was true. If Steve were really as broken as Bruce said he was. If he needed him.

* * *

_Stop crying, damn it. Stop it! What kind of man are you? Some soldier, crying like a baby._

He tried to stop, he really did, but holding this in like he was was tearing him apart from the inside out.

_See, this is exactly what fags act like, isn't it? Pussies. Pansies. Having fun being a queer? Huh? _

"Stop," he whispered, pushing at his temples violently. "Just shut up for a minute, please."

"Steve?"

He looked up at the figure in his door, his heart clenching with his throat, his stomach sinking. He scowled, the pounding in his head that much worse. "Leave me alone," he spat, looking back at the carpet to hide the tears. "I don't want to talk to you, go away."

"Steve, please, let me explain," Tony said softly, looking at his mussed hair and his blue pullover, his broad shoulders drooped with defeat, fingers pressed to his temples to push out the noise. "Please."

He looked up at him, eyes swimming and puffy. He scoffed at Tony's expression. "Don't pity me. And don't look surprised either, this is your fault."

"I know," the genius said, uncomfortable. "I know. I hurt you and I'm sorry."

"You think it's that easy?" Steve asked, skeptical. "'I'm sorry' and everything's better? No, no, fuck you!"

"Hey, hey..." Tony sat beside him, never looking away from him. "Steve." He didn't, wouldn't, look at him. "Steve, please, just for a minute."

"Five minutes," he whispered, sniffling.

"Look at me, please." He looked up, so wounded.

"I'm killing myself from the inside, Tony," he whispered. "I've been constantly fighting myself about my feelings and who I am and you just..."

"You wanna know why I didn't say it back?"

"Because I said it too early and I'm a freak that doesn't understand how stuff works now," he said so fast and so _sure_ he was right it made his chest ache.

"Don't talk about yourself that way. You're perfect," Tony said just as easily. "No, I didn't say it back because I've never said that to another human being before. Never had it said _to_ me, either. I don't know how to use it, I can't even begin to know what it means when you actually do say it. I don't know, Steve. But what I do know is how I feel whenever you come near me. My heart pounds, I get a ridiculous amount of butterflies in my stomach and I want to be close to you so much it physically hurts. And it hurts when you're gone too. I want to be around you 24/7 because you're amazing. You're sweet, you're funny, you're smart and can draw a lot better than I can." He held his face between his hands. "The way I made you feel, that I didn't love you, that's unforgivable. You've been fighting so hard and working on yourself then I turn around and undo every bit of it. I'm so sorry for how I made you feel, and for making you cry right now. I'll be here for you no matter what from now on. Right here. I promise I won't hurt you again. Because I..." He swallowed again, shutting his eyes for a moment. "I love you, Steve. And you're probably the only person I'll ever tell that to." He stared up at him, looking more vulnerable than Steve had ever seen him.

Steve reached out, carefully cupping his cheek and pulling him close, kissing him more gently than anyone ever had. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Tony laughed ruefully.

"You have no idea how hard that was," he breathed, still trying to smile. Steve wrapped his arms around him allowing him to nuzzle his face into his chest, his own cheek pressed against his neck.

"So, are you done with the fighting and the screaming in your head about us?" He asked quietly. Steve shrugged.

"Quiet right now," he said softly. "You being here helps. It always does."

"So, we win, right?" He said, looking up at him. Steve held his chin, kissing him again because it was far too much to say no.

"We're win-_ning_ yes," he said softly, nuzzling his nose. "I just need a little more time."

"You have it," he whispered. "All the time in the world. Absolutely no rush from me, and everyone else can shut the hell up." Steve smiled again, elated to have to support from him. They were kissing again, slow, soft, all intentions innocent. Tony had his hands on his neck, thumbing his cheeks and keeping him as close as possible. Steve had one hand on his waist, the other rested over the reactor. Tongues were hinted at, breath drawn through noses in harsh gasps that echoed through the room with the quiet smacks of their lips. Their mouths devoured each other, a slow burning heat building between them. Steve's fingers clenched in his shirt, Tony tangling his fingers in the dirty-blond locks, scooting so close to him he was practically in his lap.

"Okay," Steve sighed, breaking away, out of breath and almost shaking. "That was, um..."

"Yeah," Tony smiled, drunk. "That was, um...We should do that more." Steve nodded, blushing. "You wanna do it again?"

"You bet your boots, I do."

Tony burst into giggles, pressing their foreheads together and holding his cheeks.

"What?" Steve said, confused. Tony shook his head, still laughing, pecking his lips.

"You're wonderful," he chuckled. "Don't ever stop talking like that."

"Like what?" He urged, genuinely confused. Tony kissed him again, distracting him from the situation. .

"Just don't change."

* * *

"Oh for the love of God," Tony sighed, stepping out of luncheon with Steve on his arm, cameras and reporters everywhere.

"Can we get a statement, please?"

Steve rolled his eyes, Tony's jaw set and angry.

"You want a statement?" Steve said. "You really want a statement? I'll give you one, then!"

He grabbed Tony's elbow, yanking him toward him and kissing him firmly right there in front of the entire world.

Tony stared at him with wide eyes when they broke apart, genuinely surprised at the outcome.

"There. Still Captain Steve Rogers, still Captain America, still able to protect this country. I'm in love with Tony Stark and there's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with me," he looked directly into CNN's lens. "There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Don't let anybody tell you different."

He took Tony's arm again and walked toward the limo a small smile on his lips. Tony squeezed his hand.

"I'm really proud of you," he said, pecking his cheek. Steve blushed, opening the car door to allow Tony to go ahead of him. "Even if you are the oldest virgin in history." He kissed him swiftly, smiling cheekily before ducking inside. Steve chuckled, climbing in after him.

"If you behave I'll let you fix that."

Tony's bark of a laugh died away as the car sped down the street.

**END**


End file.
